Kaden 4 weeks!!

I cannot believe that it has already been a month since Kaden came into the world. He has brought us so much joy and we are totally obsessed with him. Here are some unique things about our boy:

• Kaden loves to look at lights! If he is fussy we can lay him down next to our lamp and he is mesmerized!
• Kaden loves to cuddle. He is as happy as can be if he is being held
• Kaden still makes his owl "ooh!" face...we learned that it is the face he makes when pooping!
• We change at least 6 poopy diapers a day!
• Kaden is really gassy
• Kaden gets the hiccups several times a day
• Kaden smiles and laughs in his sleep
• Kaden sleeps with both arms above his head
• He is still drowning in newborn size clothing but is definitely starting to fill out!
• He really hates "tummy time"
• He is starting to get really good head control
• He has found his lungs...man this boy can SCREAM!:)

Obviously there are ups and downs when life revolves around a newborn. One of the downs being that breastfeeding has been overwhelmingly difficult. First it was painful and now it is just frustrating. Since Kaden was fed a bottle in the NICU, he hasn't learned to truly eat from the breast. It is driving me crazy because he uses me as a pacifier--not a food source. It is a work in progress and I will keep trying! My days just become very long and draining as I breastfeed all day long since he never gets enough in one sitting. BUT, I AM DETERMINED! Hopefully we will figure it out soon!

Other than eating troubles, Kaden is a perfect baby. As I examine his  perfect little face, count his precious fingers and toes, I find myself overcome with gratitude. Throughout my pregnancy we faced so many fears--we were told first that there was a possibility Kaden wouldn't make it to term. Doctors also warned us about the potential for Kaden to have a deformity or some sort of genetic disorder. We also were counseled not to get our hopes up about the success of the surgery. So many warnings and so many tears were shed in fear.

But as I look down at my beautiful little boy I am astounded by the miracle we've received. However, the fear never leaves my mind that the future still holds some trials for little Kaden. We are still unsure about his heart and what exactly will need to happen in his life; but we are hopeful. We have faith that Kaden will continue to be strong.

Our cardiology appointment is friday...I'm scared to death that they will look at Kaden's heart and see a problem again. Or worse, I'm scared he'll have to get another surgery. 

The plus side of all of this is that I am not taking anything for granted. Each moment with him is a gift and I hope I never lose that perspective. 

Thanks for reading!!!