Christmas Break!

Just wanted to write down a little about our trips so I don't forget any of it!:)

Well, it started out with an 8 hour plane ride to Oregon from Houston. Kaden was a champ and slept, ate, and played wonderfully well. I, on the other hand, was going crazy. I cannot sit that long!

When we finally arrived to Oregon we were so ecstatic…but about a day into it both Kaden and I got super sick! I'm talking fevers of 103, uncontrollable shivers, terrible cough, sore throat, head ache, you name it. I was in such a bad state I don't remember much of the days that followed. I do know that we toured OHSU and looked at different neighborhoods around the school because Ben and I would really like to go there for his residency. We also went to the Oregon coast. Ben and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary with clam chowder and fish n' chips at a restaurant right on the beach. The beach was cold, blustery, and wonderful. I'm in love with Oregon.

When the triplets and their wives arrived we were able to finally bless Kaden. Poor thing was so sick and whimpered during the whole thing. Then we headed up to a cabin near Mount Hood. There we didn't have much snow and so our skiing and sledding plans were kinda ruined. BUT we did do some fun hiking and running in the mountains. We also played on frozen lakes and every night each couple took turns making delicious dinners. We had a beautiful christmas morning with tons of gifts. It all happened way too fast and we were heartbroken to leave. Not only did we love being with family, but I LOVE the Portland area and really wished I wouldn't have been so sick so I could've seen more of it. On the bright side, it left a lot for me to explore when Ben (hopefully) does his away rotation there this summer!

After Oregon we were able to make a quick weekend visit to Los Angeles are where my Dad Jeff and his wife Liz live. We actually mostly stayed in San Clemente where my stepsister Jayde lives. It was Heaven!!! Jayde and her husband Grayson (who is a lieutenant in the military) live at Camp Pendleton, right next to the most gorgeous California coastline. We had a blast and were so grateful for the hospitality in letting us crash their place for two nights. We had an amazing time running on the beach and Ben went boogie boarding and swimming in the ocean. We ate at the famous Pedro's fish tacos and I honestly have never had a more delicious taco. seriously. If you ever get a chance, try one. And they are only like 2 bucks each which makes them even more delicious.

Then, all of sudden it was over. done. We headed home. Back to my lonely tower of an apartment. Back to the grind of work and school and being adults. It was nice to be taken care of by parents again. But life must go on and we have an exciting last few months of med school ahead of us!! 

Kaden 6 months!

WOW!! My baby is already a 1/2 year old! I've decided that six months has got to be my favorite age so far. Kaden is so fun and so interactive! Here are some things he now can do:

• sits up all by himself!!
• loves playing with toys; especially paper and napkins which he LOVES to eat…makes eating at restaurants difficult because he grabs the napkin and stuffs it in his mouth at lightening speed!
• chewing, chewing on everything but no teeth yet!
• starting to try a little solid food…loves sweet potatoes and peas
• when he wants to be held he now reaches out his arms--melt my heart!!
• starting to get stranger danger/learning he really prefers mom or dad
• is getting a lot more hair…and surprise its BLONDE!
• babbles a lot, but also squawks like a bird…its kinda embarrassing at church!:)
• gives cuddles and 'kisses' which really is just resting his head on your shoulder and sucking on your cheek
• can play peek-a-boo and loves it!
• still HATES the car seat and has a fit every single time we go for a car ride
• sticks his tongue out
• blows raspberries
• sticks out his bottom lip all the time
• loves riding in the front seat of the grocery cart
• still hates tummy time
• now weights 15.5 pounds and I forget the exact length but he is in the 60th percentile for length and head circumference…only the 5th or something percentile for weight. So lanky!
• Honestly, Kaden is the joy of my life and ben and I are so grateful for such a remarkably happy baby…if only he can stop getting sick every other week we'll survive this winter!

Kaden 5 months!

This month has brought a lot of milestones and changes for our little guy. Not only has he learned how to roll over, but he is rolling across the room. Not only is he learning to sit up on his own, but he can stand on his own for a few seconds. And he has learned that his favorite thing in the world is to JUMP! I'll hold him on my lap and he will just jump-jump-jump non stop. He also loves grabbing anything and everything with his hands. He especially loves playing with blankets, hair, fake flowers, wipes, and cups. Of course, he loves to play with toys and the sweetest thing is he loves to cuddle with his Teddy bear we got him from Build-a-Bear. He is the biggest flirt and gives his sly, dimpled smile to any stranger we pass by. His favorite person (besides Mom) is Dad and he will giggle uncontrollably when Dad tickles his tummy. Kaden also loves to flirt with his Pediatrician and she loves it (pretty strategic, eh?). He is also extremely ticklish on his thighs and will giggle so hard when Mommy plays peek-a-boo with him. Overall, he is a very happy baby. He doesn't cry often, only at bedtime it seems. Or in his carseat. Every time we go somewhere he fusses about it. It gives me a headache somedays just trying to go to the grocery store because he has a huge fit in the car…but as soon as I get him out he is all smiles and coos. Eating is going better…relatively. He is growing well in the sense that he is above the 60% now in height but is only like 5% in weight. He is just long and skinny. Our pediatrician was worried for awhile, but Kaden has grown steadily upwards, and he is just so dang active that she isn't worried anymore. Big relief to me because my whole life revolves around breastfeeding him and I dealt with a lot of feelings of failure because Kaden isn't as chubby as I hoped. All in all, he is a super healthy boy and is the joy of my life.

An update of goings-on with Ben:

Ben has been doing his Surgery rotation in Medical School. Surgery is notoriously the hardest/longest hours of any rotation so that has been rough on me but we're surviving! One of the coolest experiences he had was working at Texas Children's Cardiology. He worked right with Kaden's cardiologist and assisted with heart surgeries on babies and children with heart defects similar to Kaden's. Though it was really cool to physically touch a live human heart and help these kids so drastically, I think it wore on Ben a little bit…it was a little too close to home in the sense that he saw his son in every patient and if anything went wrong it hit him too personally. That being said, he loved his experience and excelled like he always does. Now he is on to Emergency Medicine…just a few more 12 hour night shifts and we're off to Oregon for Christmas Break!!!

As for me, I'm doing alright. I have good and bad days. I I'm still rocking the sweat pants and ponytail hair most of the time ha ha. Kaden is so wonderful, but he is all consuming and high maintenance and so I don't feel like I get much free time. Perhaps it is because I'm breastfeeding on demand but I feel like I am still confined to my house a lot. But, I know its not forever and I'm trying to cherish these quiet moments when I get to be so close to my baby.

I'm really looking forward to the Holidays and a chance to reconnect with Ben again and spend time with friends and family.

Kaden 4 Months

Kaden is 4 months OLD!!

WOW. Time really does fly by. At around 3.5 months things really started getting easier. I rolled my eyes every time people would say to me, “Just get past those first three months, everyt

  
hing gets better then.” I doubted but they were right! A few weeks ago things changed. Kaden is much more predictable, pleasant, and downright easier. I find myself getting out more and having way less anxiety. Now if Kaden would only learn to eat better…he is still nursing every 2 hours for 5-10 min. Its exhausting but its also such a tender time and I’m reminded that these precious moments nursing him won’t last forever.

Today at his cardiologist appointment they weighed him and Kaden is 13 lbs and 4 oz! We are so happy! Let’s just keep packing it on, buddy! He actually has some “grabbable” chub on him now…I wish he was bigger but I’ll take it for nowJ Hopefully he will get some more growth spurts in again soon.

Kaden has learned so many new tricks! He loves balancing on daddy’s hands and being tossed (slightly) in the air. It makes him giggle! He will be crying and fussy but will immediately smile and laugh when balancing. He also will stop fussing if you blow on his face, show him something shiny, or sing a funny song.  Ben and I made up a song and Kaden will coo and smile every time we sing it!

Kaden has also developed a fascination with toys. He loves to play with anything and everything and has started grabbing everything and putting it in his mouth. He refuses a binki but has discovered his fingers and is loving sucking on his thumb.

As parents we are growing more in love with our little Kades. Life is so much fuller and with so much more meaning now that we have him. Some nights I am tormented with nightmares of Kaden getting sick and I still have anxiety whenever I think about his heart and what it might mean for his future. BUT, we have hope and faith and are in the care of an incredible cardiologist and an all-knowing and loving Heavenly Father. So for right now, Kaden’s heart is stable and we are trying to just enjoy that peaceable knowledge and avoid worrying about the future.

Ben is on surgery right now and it has actually been amazing. He has been able to be home at really important times, like today when we had to unexpectedly take Kaden in to see his cardiologist.

I’m so grateful to be the mother of this incredible baby and wife of my amazing man!

Kaden 3 Months!!!

I can't believe we've made it this far!! We survived!!:) It has been such a wonderful, tiring, difficult, fulfilling, and inspiring last 3 months. Kaden has taught us so much already and I know its so cliche, but we really have grown to love each other more and we've learned more about what unconditional love is. Kaden is so much work, I'm exhausted, but those smiles and coos we share make every long day and night worth it.

Here are the updates on our little guy:

-Kaden loves to listen to music and will smile and coo at mommy and daddy if we sing to him
-still HATES the car seat, making it miserable to try to go anywhere!
-loves going on walks in the stroller
-loves loves LOVES being held; in fact, he screams unless he is being held at ALL TIMES
-starting to reach for things with his hands
-starting to sit up on his own (with the help of the bumbo!)
-gets distracted way too easily when eating--he is just so curious he is always wanting to look around
-Kaden is a big flirt; he will flash strangers his dimpled smile and coo at them
-He won't go poop for a few days and then will have several giant loads in one day--you never know when its coming!!
-He mostly sleeps through the night!!!
-The most difficult new development is that he has learned to launch himself out of his swing. He arches his back and kicks himself out of it. Same applies to all chairs we put him in. I don't like this particular trick since it scares me to death!
-Loves to be kissed on his cheeks
-Has ticklish armpits!
-Loves to be tickled on his face with mommy's hair
-A strong, stubborn personality is emerging...heaven help us!
-Loves to be cuddled and is such a good snuggler!

Some days are harder than others, but we are so grateful to be parents to this miracle boy! Our next big event is a trip to Utah!! Wish us luck on the plane!!

Kaden 2 months!

Kaden has become so fun! Everyday Ben and I feel so blessed to have him as our son. He is such an easy, happy baby.  We couldn't be more grateful.

Here are the new developments at this milestone:
-Kaden can laugh, smile, and coo
-Kaden loves to have his diaper changed...he smiles and laughs EVERY time we change him!
-Blenders and vacuums don't faze him, but sneezing scares him!
-Still wears size newborn in clothes BUT they are getting more snug
-Can hold his head up
-Loves to look at colors and patterns
-Recognizes mom and dad--their voices and faces
-Sleeping mostly through the night
-Loves baths
-Has ticklish feet and is really ticklish on his "man boobies"
-Cries whenever he is in his car seat--he hates that thing!
-Hates being alone-he is a very cuddly baby
-Loves to be held upright against a chest

and finally...he has learned to breastfeed!!! Yay!!!

Kaden 4 weeks!!

I cannot believe that it has already been a month since Kaden came into the world. He has brought us so much joy and we are totally obsessed with him. Here are some unique things about our boy:

• Kaden loves to look at lights! If he is fussy we can lay him down next to our lamp and he is mesmerized!
• Kaden loves to cuddle. He is as happy as can be if he is being held
• Kaden still makes his owl "ooh!" face...we learned that it is the face he makes when pooping!
• We change at least 6 poopy diapers a day!
• Kaden is really gassy
• Kaden gets the hiccups several times a day
• Kaden smiles and laughs in his sleep
• Kaden sleeps with both arms above his head
• He is still drowning in newborn size clothing but is definitely starting to fill out!
• He really hates "tummy time"
• He is starting to get really good head control
• He has found his lungs...man this boy can SCREAM!:)

Obviously there are ups and downs when life revolves around a newborn. One of the downs being that breastfeeding has been overwhelmingly difficult. First it was painful and now it is just frustrating. Since Kaden was fed a bottle in the NICU, he hasn't learned to truly eat from the breast. It is driving me crazy because he uses me as a pacifier--not a food source. It is a work in progress and I will keep trying! My days just become very long and draining as I breastfeed all day long since he never gets enough in one sitting. BUT, I AM DETERMINED! Hopefully we will figure it out soon!

Other than eating troubles, Kaden is a perfect baby. As I examine his  perfect little face, count his precious fingers and toes, I find myself overcome with gratitude. Throughout my pregnancy we faced so many fears--we were told first that there was a possibility Kaden wouldn't make it to term. Doctors also warned us about the potential for Kaden to have a deformity or some sort of genetic disorder. We also were counseled not to get our hopes up about the success of the surgery. So many warnings and so many tears were shed in fear.

But as I look down at my beautiful little boy I am astounded by the miracle we've received. However, the fear never leaves my mind that the future still holds some trials for little Kaden. We are still unsure about his heart and what exactly will need to happen in his life; but we are hopeful. We have faith that Kaden will continue to be strong.

Our cardiology appointment is friday...I'm scared to death that they will look at Kaden's heart and see a problem again. Or worse, I'm scared he'll have to get another surgery. 

The plus side of all of this is that I am not taking anything for granted. Each moment with him is a gift and I hope I never lose that perspective. 

Thanks for reading!!!